+++ Swine Flu LiveBlog +++

2341 - Just taken my evening dose. Thank God for Tamiflu.

2204 - Really want this T-shirt and some amber tinted Aviators to wear at the car boot sale on August 16th.

2059 - Just spied this vid of a wedding in the US, at least if I had to put money on it it would be from the states. I'm not sure it's exactly the kind of wedding I'd like.

1835 - So I pretty much spent the whole day on Facebook today, which, let me tell you, is horrendous. I've had to take breaks from in-depth stalking to look at second hand cars. I am now an expert in everyones life and the value to mileage ratio for most cars in the Cambridge area.

1611 - I reckon there might be money in this Swine Flu game. I'm sitting at home craving some sort of activity. When I say activity, I mean crawling somewhere else and just a change of scene. If it gets big enough, why don't they have special Swine Flu screenings at the cinema? After all, deaf people get subtitled versions, and the pandemic should top deaf figures I reckon.

Of course, logistically and hygienically it fails miserably.

1529 - Still watching the cricket, because I have nothing else to do. I'm particularly enjoying the Barmy Army chants:

"Get your shit stars, get your shit stars, get your shit stars off our flaaaaag, get your shit stars off our flag"

Following a rousing rendition of God Save Your Queen

1411 - I'm developing an unfortunate knack of blogging about things that then materialise in the press. I can assure you it is no reflection of skill or connection, merely luck.

So, Jude Law has excelled himself again, fathering a love-child to Samantha Burke; well played Jude. What tickled me into a chortle-cum-coughing attack was the weak PR spin his publicist has strained to put on it: "Samantha Burke is the mother-to-be. She and Jude had a brief relationship that ended amicably. Once the baby is born, Jude wants to visit Pensacola, in Florida, where she lives, each month. He wants to play an active part in his child's upbringing and be supportive of both his little girl and Samantha.

Jude is delighted he's going to be a father again and hopes to play as much of a part in bringing her up as he has with his other children."

1333 - Having stirred to the news of Sir Bobby Robson's death, I've realised the day has already exhaustively reached the snow-capped peaks of desolation. Only the superb form of Jimmy Anderson and Graeme Onions (77 for 7 wickets) has lifted my spirits through these bleak hours; these Aussies are taking a thrashing today.

This is my favourite quote from 'The Ashes' BBC live txt:

"My boyfriend and I saw the Aussies out in Brum last night. Ponting was waiting for Watson to buy a white choc Magnum. Maybe the ice cream before bed was a bad idea."

0300 - Definitely got it. 12 hours ago I was walking down a sunny street in Cambridge swigging a chilled bottle of diet coke and felt pretty good. Between then and now, I have been destroyed physically and emotionally. It's 3am and I'm awake. I can feel myself fighting this thing, as I swoop in and out of dizziness.

I have to praise the NHS scheme in place though; you call up, quick diagnosis over the phone (to be honest, when you've got it you'll know) and then you get your code to collect your Tamiflu. If a friend/family member can get it for you all the better. To prevent further spreading, they just take your ID and theirs, and are handed it there and then. No fuss, no money, nothing.

This is from NHS Direct...

I have a solid handful of these. If people want to be in my will I recommend emailing me tonight before I begin slurring my speech and buy a one way ticket to Switzerland.

A small request for an ill man: can I possibly have Lucy Verasamy delivering my weather news all the time? She did a sterling job of telling me it wasn't going to be worth going outside today. 'A spoonful of sugar' and all that...

Oh God

I feel ill and tired. Normally this wouldn't bother me, I never get ill enough for it stop me from working (touch wood) and the whole swine flu thing doesn't scare me personally - only if everyone gets it at once and the whole country grinds to a halt. If anything, I'd quite like to get it now before the real deal comes this winter and starts killing. And anyway, one good thing the Labour administration has done recently is to make sure the UK is first in the world to get the medication.

Today I saw a chinese family all wearing cheap facemasks (there are only one kind that work in the world, and quite a few hospitals don't even use them). Now that's hysterical. It's one thing to wash your hands and maintain levels of hygiene, but another to think you're going to avoid it by wearing a cloth over your mouth and nose. It will get you.

Look at him, cool as a fucking cucumber.

I've always been an admirer of Jude Law (yes, nearly in a gay way). He's a good looking guy, always looks the part even without showering and wearing a questionable ensemble. I guess he's the proof that good looking people make the clothes look good not the other way around; it certainly works for Kate Moss with her Top Shop ranges, some of the girls trying to recreate her image end up looking like they're on a lunch break from a panto.

Regardless, Jude revived two 1950s traditions into fashion: the receding hairline and infidelity with a nanny. Not exactly competing with the Kate Moss stakes I agree, but making an affair popular is a tough thing to do (its a thin line between Sarkozy and Berlusconi - and look what's happened to both of them recently). It does beg the question, at what point do we stop becoming scornful commentators and become sheep? Why is it that I look at that picture and see a guy I'd like to be rather than someone I don't respect at all?

I'm not sure if this was staged, but I'd like to think not. There's a brutally romantic side of wartime, something I've not personally experienced and hopefully never will. Grainy footage of troopships in Southampton, returning from the Falklands after repelling Argentine invaders; pictures of VE day in Trafalgar Square; glamourous shots of victory that we've been spoilt with in the past. 

I'm not sure if it's the caveman in me that makes this picture appeal, and whether that's now outdated, but I still think it's cool.

Newmarket Races on a balmy Friday night. To be honest, there are few places I'd rather be in the world when the surly weather gods smile favourably on us punters. Lose money hand over fist but don't care, have a few drinks and then listen to a C-list act on the stage. 

"Faaaaaaan-bloody-tastic".

Worlds Most Sought-after business cards

I was kicking around the family business office last week and saw this on the wall. Thought it was quite cool.

Come home Becks, we still love you. If you want to play in front of 25,000 fans in stead of 90,000 you can still do that at Leeds*.

*For about 10% of your current wages

I've never been a great book reader. I look up at my book shelves and I see forests of unread literature and unwanted christmas presents. I wish I was, because I feel like I'm missing out on a great pleasure, just like I look at people who don't enjoy food as being slightly mentally ill. In fact, fittingly, if I do go looking for a book I'm more likely to return with a cook book of ambitiously bullish recipes that in reality far outweigh my culinary ability (see any of the Moro books for a prime example).

So considering the lack of entertainment recipes will give me over an internet-free 10 days in southern France and my nosey penchant for details of other people's lives, I decided biographies are the 'go to' book for me. Imagine my disappointment this morning, when I was searching for - and failed to find - Bill Clinton or Alastair Campbell's bios because the whole shelf was taken up by David Cassidy's and John Barrowman's life stories. Now really, they have very little to tell in the way of hard hitting experience or interest.

Thank god for Amazon.

Awesome Advert

This weekend I was lucky enough to spend Saturday night with some of my closest friends, some I hadn't seen in over a year. Luckily, we slipped straight into gear.

CROSLAND: Haha, awesome, York's wearing a cravat

PETTIT: No way

CROSLAND: Definately a cravat

MALONE: If York's wearing a cravat...I'm going to spit in his face

I often enjoy the bustle of Cambridge's summer streets, sharing my home town with tourists and multi-cultured language students. On hot days being stuck behind hoards of Italian teenagers can test my very British patience, but more often than not I feel fairly proud that they've come all this way to admire a place I've had the pleasure of living in for most of my life. On the flipside, thanks to the advent of budget airlines, the rest of Europe has been lucky enough to experience what now has been summed up as 'Brits Abroad'; outrageous consumption of alcohol, debauchery with local women and meaningless petty vandalism. Essentially, piracy. Somehow in some pockets of the world we retain a reputation of grace and etiquette, and in this recent survey we are even commended on our style. Things have obviously gone full circle, as I'd not noticed garish polyester clothing and beige trousers had become fashionable again. Needless to say I think there's a real case for blocking Ryanair's move to introduce budget flights to the US, which has been on the cards for a year or so as part of their expansion strategy. This would be hugely unfair on our American friends, who can take some relief in the fact that their stringent immigration laws and complex landing cards could well repel and outfox the very worst of what Britain can throw at them. Unfortunately those that slip through would probably live up to Banksy's depiction above, ruining any fragile reputation we may still have.

Every year I tend to come across drunk American girls, laughing and flirting by the bars in clubs, and occasionally at the urinals. While laughing along with their virginal experience of perfectly legal drinking, I can only think of what our lot would be doing in their home town.

What a mismatch, always go petite...always.

Me and some of the guys, an awesome day.