AA,
My girlfriend's just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It's such a downer. Can I dump her?

Yeah, course you can. Hey, you didn't sign up for a mentalist, did you? Don't feel bad. No reason why you both should. She'll probably be better off on her own. She can concentrate on lightening the fuck up. I wouldn't risk a face-to-face . Might make her worse: the begging, the what-did-I-do-wrong sobbing, the suicide threats. Just text her. "Sorry babe, not working out for me. Moving on. Cheer up. LOL."