To the tune of Que Sera Sera:

"Si Purchase, Purchase,

He thinks he's a cocktail whizz,

His specialty is Bucks Pizz,

Fuck off Pu-urchase...

Si Malone, Malone,

He's the owner of his own home,

He sleeps in his bed alone,

Oh Malone, Malone...

Adam Hamadache,

His name rhymes with lash,

His glasses are as gay as Pat Cash,

Adam Hamadache..."

- Andrew Wallace